Saturday, June 23, 2012

Submitting (sigh)

What a title for a first post!!  Ha!  I think that submitting is something that many wives struggle with.  My generation, a product of growing up in the 80's and 90's, has been told that women are just as equal to men.  We can have everything the men can.  Sure, we're all people, why should our gender make us different?  Obviously we have different roles, in the family, but first within the marriage.  It's been difficult for me to learn exactly what submitting means, but I'm taking it one little step at a time.

Recently, my husband and I had a disagreement, not unusual, who agrees on everything?  Not us.  But we normally get along so well.  When it really matters to me, he gives in quickly and vice versa.

This time?  Not so much. 

He was putting his foot down.  He had all valid points to his argument, including, "I said so."

I felt like he didn't understand the position he was putting me in: that is, hurting feelings no matter which way I went, either his, or someone else's.  I felt like I would lose no matter what I did, no matter what I said, no matter how I felt. 

I prayed.  What's that you ask?  Donna, you prayed for God to change your husband's mind?  Well, I certainly wanted to.  But nope.  I prayed for Him to guide me and show me a little discernment.  You know what?  He did.... immediately.

Uh-Oh, not what I expected.  But then, it never really is huh?

He told me that it didn't matter how I FELT.  He told me that I was supposed to follow my leader here, (incidentally, being led is something that I've been praying about for a long time).  What?  Now?  But I'm right, and he's wrong!  Right?

He told me that He would honor my choice to submit to that husband of mine.  Okay, Lord, whatever you say.

Hubs and I talked, I "submitted," (which may actually be read as "caved in - kicking and screaming on the inside"), and we didn't let the sun set on our disagreement.  I'm proud of my choice, and The Lord rewarded me.  He gave me an awesome outcome to the very thing that Hubs and I were in disagreement about.

What about you?  Is submission something that you strive for?  Have an extremely hard time dealing with?  Comes easily for you?  I hope that the next time a similar situation comes up, I remember more quickly to pray.  I hope that you do too.



  1. Oh, Donna! I have been working on that same thing for some time now! I agree, having been brought up when we were, submission is a hard thing to learn...But boy, it sure brings such a feeling of peace when I remember to try it in the midst of our disagreements! The trick is remembering to pray in the middle of it all. Great first post, lady! Can't wait to see more!

  2. Thanks so much! I'm trying! I'm not even close to "getting it," but I'm trying harder all the time - hence my "beautiful mess!" And as someone else so kindly reminded me, we need to remember to be totally submissive to HIM, before it works in our marriages. :) And AMEN to the peace it brings.

  3. Great post Donna! Being stay-at-home, homeschooling mommas, we run the house all day long, right?! It's hard to change gears and submit...thanks for the reminder.

    And I'm happy you started blogging. Can't wait to read more!

  4. Absolute truth! Being submissive to our Creator gives us the perfect chance to practice, pretty regularly for some. ;) As Christ is the head of the Church, and your husband is the head of the family, we all must submit first to God. All that being said, having a spouse that loves Christ makes it all that much easier, as he's less likely to take advantage of his leadership role, thus making your role in submission less of a challenge and more of a blessing.

  5. I enjoyed reading your thoughts! What a blessing to have answered prayer and peace. :-) I'm looking forward to following along and reading future posts.

  6. Thanks for the much needed reminder! It's encouraging to know I'm not the only wife that struggles, or at least is open enough to admit it ;)